I was not raised to believe that the world OWED me something. I was not allowed to "take" money from adults. I was taught the value in working for what you want.
I was having a conversation with a lady from San Francisco the other day. She wanted to know why I was living in Los Angeles, she wanted to know "was I chasing a dream?" Chasing a dream???!!! Ha ha ha, that concept is foreign to me. Chasing a dream.... now I love a good nap, and I NEED my beauty sleep.... but chasing a dream? Come on! If there is something that I want in life, I make it a goal, and I give it a deadline. If i want something, I work for it. I don't expect anything to be given to me. And I believe in the law of attraction, and that I can have anything that I want, as long as it doesn't hurt others. But chasing a dream... no bueno... chasing a dream sounds like good exercise and thats about it.
Recently, I was watching a show and they were discussing the concept of Donald Trump being mentally unstable, then they said he was narcissistic. I never really knew the definition of narcissistic but when they began to break down the traits of someone with narcissism.... I realized that I love a narcissitic persson.
I don't think that you can change people. You can try to show them there ways, but at the end of the day, the choice for them to change is up to them. You cant change a person or there actions, but you can change your reactions to there actions.
Right now... I AM SO TIRED, of trying to create happiness for someone. It just seems as if they are hell bent on being unhappy. No matter what I do. I try hard to surprise them with stuff or activities that I think will make them happy. The day or event is going good until.... all of a sudden the fun comes to an abrupt halt because maybe it seems foreign for them to be happy... I don't know. Im a busy person, I own SEVERAL businesses, so sometimes I just want to unwind, not work and do something fun with my husband. And then it just always seems to end up in a stupid argument. at times, all I want to do is to avoid him. He is no longer a source of happiness for me, because I am no longer a source of happiness for him. I don't know if that makes sense. I try to bring him joy... but he just wants to be angry and unhappy with everyone and everything.
I once read that Steve Harvey said that a man will never be happy until he is where he wants to be in his career. And see therein lies the problem. My husband is not happy because his career does not exist. He is here chasing a dream. He is here waiting on someone to give him this dream. We have been in Los Angeles since 2008 and here it is 2016 and he is still waiting on someone to give him his big break! To give him a career. Chasing a dream. He needs to wake the fuck up. No one is going to just drop a career in your lap. You have to work for it.
So, I try to be a supportive wife and try to encourage him to create the career he wants. He is a drummer and wants to be a professional drummer. He also produces music. So, I try to encourage him in various ways.... some things that I've tried:
1) telling him to create his own band - he gives me excuses as to why it wont work
2) I encourage him to release his own album - he finally did that this year... but wont do anything to promote it.... I guess people are supposed to magically find it at the bottom of itunes somewhere and buy it.
3) I try to encourage him to create a facebook page - he created the page, but wont post content to it...
4) i've tried to get him to go to open mic nights, where he can play - he complains that we live to far, or that he eiither doesn't feel like doing it etc..
5) this list could go on and on... but I will stop.
I am TIRED, I have tried. if a person doesnt want more for themselves, you cant make them do something about it..
If you don't want to do anything to further your career... cool.... don't be depressed sad and angry that your life isnt where you want it. Just accept the fact, that faith without works is dead.
But, when it starts spilling into my life, and making me sad, this is a problem. I am all about trying to be happy. My mom died of cancer almost 2 years ago. My life has been forever changed. I think that life should be lived to the fullest, enjoy every moment, because you don't know when its going to be your last.
I dont let minute things bother me anymore. If im not gonna be mad about it 6 months from now, there is no need to raise your stress level today. Let it roll off your back.
Whats the point in being angry at everything and everyone? All that built up frustration leads to sickness in the body.
Im just at a point in my life, where if it doesn't increase my paper, or my happiness, im not interested in it.
I can't convey to you guys right now, how frustrated I am. When you LITERALLY work 10 hour days so that I can have the things in life that make me happy, then the time that you do try to take off to spend with your spouse, it just always ends up in an argument, because deep down, they don't want you to be happy, because they aren''t happy....
I admit part of it is my fault... always trying to make him happy. trying to buy him things to make him happy, etc.... but at the end of the day, none of it is working, so Im going to stop.
What do you do when your spouse is chronically angry? chronically sad? chronically depressed? yet refuses to get any treatment. Yes, we took a vow, for better or worse. in happiness and sadness blah blah blah.... how much am I supposed to continue to take? At what point do I get to throw in the towel?
There are no kids, it just the 2 of us.... him being miserable and that is making me miserable. Trying to talk things out, doesn't work.... im just always in the wrong.... how much more should I take? I am literrally sitting in my closet typing this blog crying my heart out. Who wants to see there spouse like this? This is horrible. he doesn't want to do anything about it, and now its affecting my happiness.
Right now, I just wish I could disappear.... So i will just go take me 2 sleeping pills, and try to sleep the night away.
I was having a conversation with a lady from San Francisco the other day. She wanted to know why I was living in Los Angeles, she wanted to know "was I chasing a dream?" Chasing a dream???!!! Ha ha ha, that concept is foreign to me. Chasing a dream.... now I love a good nap, and I NEED my beauty sleep.... but chasing a dream? Come on! If there is something that I want in life, I make it a goal, and I give it a deadline. If i want something, I work for it. I don't expect anything to be given to me. And I believe in the law of attraction, and that I can have anything that I want, as long as it doesn't hurt others. But chasing a dream... no bueno... chasing a dream sounds like good exercise and thats about it.
Recently, I was watching a show and they were discussing the concept of Donald Trump being mentally unstable, then they said he was narcissistic. I never really knew the definition of narcissistic but when they began to break down the traits of someone with narcissism.... I realized that I love a narcissitic persson.
I don't think that you can change people. You can try to show them there ways, but at the end of the day, the choice for them to change is up to them. You cant change a person or there actions, but you can change your reactions to there actions.
Right now... I AM SO TIRED, of trying to create happiness for someone. It just seems as if they are hell bent on being unhappy. No matter what I do. I try hard to surprise them with stuff or activities that I think will make them happy. The day or event is going good until.... all of a sudden the fun comes to an abrupt halt because maybe it seems foreign for them to be happy... I don't know. Im a busy person, I own SEVERAL businesses, so sometimes I just want to unwind, not work and do something fun with my husband. And then it just always seems to end up in a stupid argument. at times, all I want to do is to avoid him. He is no longer a source of happiness for me, because I am no longer a source of happiness for him. I don't know if that makes sense. I try to bring him joy... but he just wants to be angry and unhappy with everyone and everything.
I once read that Steve Harvey said that a man will never be happy until he is where he wants to be in his career. And see therein lies the problem. My husband is not happy because his career does not exist. He is here chasing a dream. He is here waiting on someone to give him this dream. We have been in Los Angeles since 2008 and here it is 2016 and he is still waiting on someone to give him his big break! To give him a career. Chasing a dream. He needs to wake the fuck up. No one is going to just drop a career in your lap. You have to work for it.
So, I try to be a supportive wife and try to encourage him to create the career he wants. He is a drummer and wants to be a professional drummer. He also produces music. So, I try to encourage him in various ways.... some things that I've tried:
1) telling him to create his own band - he gives me excuses as to why it wont work
2) I encourage him to release his own album - he finally did that this year... but wont do anything to promote it.... I guess people are supposed to magically find it at the bottom of itunes somewhere and buy it.
3) I try to encourage him to create a facebook page - he created the page, but wont post content to it...
4) i've tried to get him to go to open mic nights, where he can play - he complains that we live to far, or that he eiither doesn't feel like doing it etc..
5) this list could go on and on... but I will stop.
I am TIRED, I have tried. if a person doesnt want more for themselves, you cant make them do something about it..
If you don't want to do anything to further your career... cool.... don't be depressed sad and angry that your life isnt where you want it. Just accept the fact, that faith without works is dead.
But, when it starts spilling into my life, and making me sad, this is a problem. I am all about trying to be happy. My mom died of cancer almost 2 years ago. My life has been forever changed. I think that life should be lived to the fullest, enjoy every moment, because you don't know when its going to be your last.
I dont let minute things bother me anymore. If im not gonna be mad about it 6 months from now, there is no need to raise your stress level today. Let it roll off your back.
Whats the point in being angry at everything and everyone? All that built up frustration leads to sickness in the body.
Im just at a point in my life, where if it doesn't increase my paper, or my happiness, im not interested in it.
I can't convey to you guys right now, how frustrated I am. When you LITERALLY work 10 hour days so that I can have the things in life that make me happy, then the time that you do try to take off to spend with your spouse, it just always ends up in an argument, because deep down, they don't want you to be happy, because they aren''t happy....
I admit part of it is my fault... always trying to make him happy. trying to buy him things to make him happy, etc.... but at the end of the day, none of it is working, so Im going to stop.
What do you do when your spouse is chronically angry? chronically sad? chronically depressed? yet refuses to get any treatment. Yes, we took a vow, for better or worse. in happiness and sadness blah blah blah.... how much am I supposed to continue to take? At what point do I get to throw in the towel?
There are no kids, it just the 2 of us.... him being miserable and that is making me miserable. Trying to talk things out, doesn't work.... im just always in the wrong.... how much more should I take? I am literrally sitting in my closet typing this blog crying my heart out. Who wants to see there spouse like this? This is horrible. he doesn't want to do anything about it, and now its affecting my happiness.
Right now, I just wish I could disappear.... So i will just go take me 2 sleeping pills, and try to sleep the night away.
